Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
