I showed him my bush... on skype.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize