Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
