By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
