im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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