I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
