You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
then he tried to convert me to islam
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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