maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Enjoy the penises
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
