i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
