Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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