you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ttyl tear gas
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
