i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
