So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
