bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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