all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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