Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
