Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
