Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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