Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
