its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
