Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
