he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
