Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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