Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
