So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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