Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
