Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
