Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Randomize
