Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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