She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
