He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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