is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize