Yo dont text me then not text me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
