Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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