That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
