You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
