that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
