i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
they need to just BURY HIM!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Im part way to drunk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
