Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
