we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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