Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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