the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just invented taco cereal.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
