My pussy is not your playground.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
