Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
