We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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