Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize