I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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