turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize