So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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