I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
