We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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