i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
