Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
