At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
