she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
