yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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