So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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