Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
