And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
