i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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