I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
