you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
