You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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